I’ve been preaching through the Sermon on the Mount since January of this year. This Sunday we will look at Matthew 5:27-30.
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.
Now, that is a very important passage and one we should not avoid. I am preparing even now to preach on it. However, the prospect of preaching on such passages always raises a tricky issue: namely, how to do so honestly and frankly while there are children in the sanctuary. I have to deal with this as a pastor and a parent. So what I’ve done is written the following disclaimer that will be given to our parents this coming Wednesday night:
I made a similar disclaimer Sunday night from the pulpit. I think I am at peace, in general, with my approach to this, though it always raises interesting questions. How old should children be before they are presented with these ideas in the context of corporate worship? How does a pastor address issues of sexual sin and human sexuality in general without being (a) too evasive or (b) too explicit? Were children present when Jesus preached this on the Mount (almost certainly)? But did Jesus spend 40 minutes on this passage (almost certainly not)? But given the encroaching tides of outright sexual anarchy and hyper-permissiveness in our culture, should we not spend 40 minutes on it (we certainly should)?
Furthermore, the problem is confounded by the weird irony that evangelical churches in America today seem to be at one of two extremes: (a) talking about sex crassly and obsessively or (b) never mentioning it at all. It seems to me that either extreme is an abuse. I will say, however, that churches which never address these issues are partly to blame for the rampant, largely secret, sexual sin and guilt that are wreaking havoc in the church today (anybody who does counseling can tell you that there is an elephant in the room on any given Sunday morning, and one we need to talk about). Surely we must present an honest, balanced, biblical view on these issues? Even so, churches sometimes do this in the worst, most in-your-face, and almost obscene ways.
Another option is to address these things in retreat settings with men and women. That is, have a wise Christian woman speak to women about these issues and have the pastor or whomever discuss these with men. Age grading and appropriate content would need to be recognized in these settings as well. In that way, embarrassment is removed and the issues can be discussed with appropriate frankness in ways we might not discuss them from the pulpit. There’s a place for that, for sure, but my main problem with relegating sexual issues primarily or only to such settings is that in divorcing these issues from the context of Christian worship, we de-sacralize them and almost contribute to the air that these things are “unmentionable.” In point of fact, the Bible speaks to the people of God corporately about these issues in numerous ways and on numerous occasions.
Yet another option is to say that these issues are only appropriate when parents and children discuss them and that the pulpit should stay out of the conversation. I certainly agree that parents should be addressing these issues primarily, but the notion of a pulpit that is silent on issues of sexuality is, to my mind, a disastrous notion. Our pulpits must proclaim the whole counsel of God, a counsel which, again, addresses these issue. Furthermore, given what is happening in America today, the suggesting that our pulpits should not speak to human sexuality is naive, foolish, and destructive.
As I say, it is an interesting conundrum. At the end of the day, I know of no real answer other than to preach God’s word honestly and faithfully while giving parents a head’s up when the subject matter will touch on issues that they might not want their young children to confront yet.
Thoughts?
I completely agree with how you are handling this, and I’m not just saying that because you are the man. First off, I commend you for preaching through the Sermon on the Mount and not neglecting passages that might be difficult or offensive to some. And I know that you will treat this passage with grace and love, not judgment and anger. Secondly, children are hearing about sexuality at a much younger age than ever before. They are hearing the flip-side of Jesus’ message each day, and they desperately need to hear the gospel and how it affects things like sex, marriage, etc. Lastly, this is somewhat of a blanket statement, but as a whole I don’t think parents are having this difficult conversation with their children at home. In a perfect world, parents would discuss this at home and pastors would not need to preach it as often, perhaps. However, we’re in a far-from-perfect world, and I would not neglect this passage even with children present. I do think you are wise to tell the parents ahead of time and let them make the decision for their children. Preach on, brother.
I think you’ve got it well in hand. The topic must be addressed; addressing it from the pulpit gives the impression of utter seriousness. And given who you are, I very much doubt you’ll cross any lines into inappropriateness.
Many assume that it is too “touchy” a subject to deal with from the pulpit or even publicly for that matter. Clearly Jesus did not hold that point of view as He preached against the sin of adultery and presented a challenge to abstain from it. Most of the problems we face in society today is a direct result of silence in the pulpit. I will admit that this is not an easy topic to address, but it needs to be preached so that we will know what the Bible teaches and God expects. This passage deals with an issue that brings great damage and destruction to countless relationships and homes each year, we need to be educated and warned regarding the potential for such activity and challenged to refrain from it at all costs.
I personally believe that Jesus was addressing a real problem the Jews faced in that day and culture. They knew what the Bible said and they understood the commandments of God, and yet they chose to ignore God’s teaching and live as they pleased. Most today that choose to engage in adultery are well aware that it is wrong. If they didn’t why would they seek to be secretive about it? They know it is sinful and wrong, and yet they continue their sinful acts anyway.
I’ll offer my opinion on the subject, for what it is worth. First, I agree that you have an obligation to preach the scripture in depth and in its entirety. I don’t think the order which Jesus presented the Sermon was arbitrary. That He established He wasn’t there to abolish the law, but to fulfill it before addressing anger wasn’t arbitrary. That He then taught on lust, immediately followed by divorce was also not arbitrary. The fact that He addressed these items in said order gives weight to them we can’t deny. In my opinion, the modern-day church as a whole doesn’t deal with sexual sin appropriately. The most common reaction seems to be turning a blind eye to it. As if “out of sight, out of mind” ever solved any problem? While I can somewhat understand the dilemma because of the mature nature of the subject matter, I don’t want to even entertain the notion of making it “PG” at the cost of having to water down the material. I think the concept of allowing parents to decide if their children are ready is an excellent answer. While I don’t pretend to know the age at which it is appropriate, my wife and I have decided it is appropriate for our 12 year old son. We are confident that even worst case, it could only illicit questions from him that will atleast be based upon the proper base knowledge.
Funny you mention this. I was thinking just yesterday that this issue needs to be addressed from the pulpits of churches throughout our land. But the Church seems to be strangely silent about adultery (at least the ones I have attended).
The World is promoting sex in every magazine, TV show, movie…well, you get my drift – everywhere.
I can’t think of an area that can more quickly destroy a family, not just the husband and wife, but kids (and extended family). Just today a friend of mine shared with me that a mutual brother in Christ had committed adultery. This guy had, for some time, provided leadership in the church and had a solid walk, but, somewhere along the way, he lost his footing. The dangers need to be articulated, and if anyone can do that well, I know it is you my friend.
Knowing how thoughtfully you approach the preaching of God’s Word I have no concerns that it would be excessive or too graphic.
Personally I’ve rarely seen any Baptist preacher frankly and forwardly address this issue. Lust is eroding families, destroying marriages, enslaving our young boys, deceiving our young ladies, and crippling men but outside of some Men’s groups and a few male focused Christian websites the issue is largely ignored.
I commend you for moving forward and doing so in a way that helps families prepare and consider how to handle appropriateness. We need it. I need it.
The Devil just hopes we’ll remain quiet and suffer defeat in isolation.
I’ll be interested to know how you address v32. To me, that could be more dicey proposition than addressing lust in the presence of minors.
I’m grateful for the feedback! Thanks to you all as well as to those who emailed me privately.
Your approach is right-on. I suggest not only presenting the disclaimer on the Wednesday prior, but also the morning of the service.
An additional thought on sexuality and the church’s responsibility: Your concern about taking the correct approach from the pulpit is appropriate; however, EVEN hitting nothing but home runs every Sunday from the pulpit on this subject is inadequate for a long-term, focused, discipleship-based addressing of the problem. I’d bet that 99% of men in any church in America today (including ours) struggle or have struggled seriously with issues of sexual purity. Men in leadership positions are struggling today. To whom are they accountable? Are we as brothers in Christ coming alongside each other to hold one another accountable, to hold each other up in prayer (serious, daily prayer), to lend an ear, to offer suggestions/techniques for overcoming, etc.? We need to structure our fellowship in such a way as to provide this support, and establish the expectation that every member of the church will be involved in such a support group … it’s in groups such as these that true “authentic family” happens. And true Biblical growth and change will follow.
Phil,
Thanks so much for your comments. I’m grateful! You are correct that we need to foster healthy accountability. I will say (and I’m sure you’ll agree) that accountability also happens in organic and non-structured ways within the body of Christ. For instance, I’m aware of a number of men holding each other accountable on these issues in ways that were not institutionally prescribed. That doesn’t mitigate against your point, for, as you rightly point out, there are too many that aren’t getting help and don’t even know they can. But just to make the point that oftentimes help and accountability are happening that transcend structure, thankfully. Becoming the type of family where men (and women) know they can be transparent and get help is crucial, as you point out.
very good approach. In short; these issues must be dealt with from the pulpit because scripture addresses them. The Bible says alot about sexuality; sexual sins etc.. So the church can’t be silent. Being silent or secretive has led to sexual strongholds and blatant sin even in the church. We must address these areas. We must repent of sexual sin and all other sin. Addressing it from a Biblical perspective is the first step in finding deliverance freedom victory from lust perversion sin etc
Thank you Russell. God bless you.